


true blue

by mochinko



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Amnesia, Gen, M/M, Minor Injuries, POV Third Person Limited, Unreliable Narrator, listen baby felix whined until he got to do everything with dimitri he loves him so much, no beta we just perish, nonbinary byleth, not super shippy atm, pre-timeskip idk the exact time whoops, soft felix
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-31
Updated: 2019-09-25
Packaged: 2020-10-04 04:24:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 12,822
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20464967
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mochinko/pseuds/mochinko
Summary: Dimitri has no idea how to deal with this Felix who looks at him as if he were his whole world.Had he always looked at him like this?How had he never noticed?He doesn’t think he deserves it.---Or Felix loses his memories after an ambush and all that’s left of it were of his younger self before the events of the Tragedy of Duscur took place.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Aha I don’t know anything about medical conditions and the like so forgive me if they’re not depicted accurately or what (I did do some research though so there’s that but don’t take it too seriously really) I just really wanted to write a self-indulgent fic about how Felix used to be so clingy to Dima before and the idea wouldn’t leave me until i wrote it so here we are,,,, 
> 
> this is also the first fic I’ve written in a long while so I’m really rusty and I apologize in advance (please go easy on me im baby) ...but yeah other than that hope you guys enjoy! Dimifeli rights!!!

Dimitri has no idea how to deal with this Felix who looks at him as if he were his whole world.

Had he always looked at him like this?

How had he never noticed?

He doesn’t think he deserves it.

Going back, it all began on an uneventful day after they finished training.

The day had gone by the same as always.

Before the professor announced that they were to go out the following day for a mission and only having selected a few to come with them.

It was supposed to be a rather minor thing so only a small group was needed. Having been itching for some action after a while -as hacking away some training dummies can only do so much- Felix was quick to jump in at the task. Dimitri wanted to come as well, but soon enough everyone was wanting in on the assignment.

Eventually they had to settle with what the professor deemed best for handling some wayward bandits, leaving no room for argument.

The next day, the group set off.

Dimitri, sadly, wasn’t in it.

* * *

  
  
When he heard the news of their return he had immediately rushed to the infirmary.

Apparently, there was some misinformation somewhere and the group ended up having to face an ambush on the way to the designated place. None of which any of them had any clue on why or how there was more than just a few numbers of bandits there lying in wait compared to what they were briefed on.

Dimitri didn’t have much time to ponder on that however as he felt a sickening twist to his stomach at the thought of his friends being mortally wounded...or worse.

Everyone who was chosen all shared grim looks, despite that it seemed none of their injuries were grave, save for maybe Ashe who had his left arm bandaged up so he couldn’t see the extent of the damage. Regardless, the room was oddly quiet when he arrived.

He figured the room would be slightly abuzz with all the people in it, Manuela and a few other healers attending to the other wounded. Sylvaine had a nasty looking gash on his leg and Felix...

He had just noticed that the swordsman lay prone on the bed, unconscious, and had more than a couple bandages on his person. The one more notably around his head that was slowly getting a red patch.

He felt his breath get caught on his throat.

None of them could look at him in the eye.

Was it that bad?

He turns his attention to the professor who was muttering something to Mercedes as she tries to console an oddly quiet Annette before turning to Dimitri. Their usually blank gaze, looking tired but softening a bit upon seeing his face and it made him wonder just what sort of expression he was making right now.

“Is,” He swallows. “...Is he…?” He trails off disliking the uncertainty in his voice or where exactly he was going with that question.

He should be strong in times like this, like a leader no--like a future king should.

“Felix... he,” The professor chances a glance at the bed, “He’s stable for now…he took a heavy blow to the head but he should be alright given enough time.”

Slowly the tension trickled out from his shoulders, ok good, he was ok, unconscious, but alive and not in any danger of dying any time soon. 

He could deal with that.

But.

“But?” It seemed like there was more to it, otherwise why else would everyone be so...silent. Annette looked like she was in shock.

The professor shakes their head softly and Dimitri feels like he’s on the edge of a cliff again.

He was about to ask when the silence was stretching on and it seemed like Byleth wasn't about to elaborate.

It was Manuela who answered for them.

“But, quite frankly, we don’t know if he’s gonna wake up. If he does-”

“_When _ he does.” Sylvain corrected with a hard gaze on the floor, still avoiding looking at anyone in the room as his hand clenched into a tight fist. 

Manuela does them all a favor on not reprimanding him for interrupting her. “We’re not entirely sure what the damages would be.”

He could see Ashe flinch from the corner of his eye, Mercedes’ shoulder slightly sagging while rubbing soothing circles on Annette’s back.

His throat was suddenly dry.

“Damages? Like what?”

“A lot of things, he took a hit to the head after all.” Manuela responds, not unkindly but more as a matter of factly, “And there’s only so much healing magic can do for things like brain damage. Things like losing functions on certain body parts, affecting his mobility and even impair his vision to name a few.”

But that wasn’t the kind of answer Dimitri wanted to hear, even if it was the truth.

At the same time, he had to remain calm, lashing out would do nothing to help Felix recover.

Instead he turns his attention back to Byleth.

“What exactly happened out there professor?”

They breathe out what could be a sigh before gesturing towards the door.

“Let’s talk outside,”

* * *

Ingrid and Dedue came rushing by as soon as they heard. They were the last to know since they’ve been out in the market shopping for ingredients and by then Byleth had finished telling Dimitri of what happened and had excused themself to talk to Rhea. And if he was gonna be honest he still doesn’t quite understand.

Where did it go wrong?

Was there a spy of some sort here?

How else would those bandits know where to wait for them?

But most importantly, what for? Why? It seemed like a rather odd assassination attempt if it were so and Byleth expressed their concern about it as well but ultimately decided to talk about it another time once everyone was more or less settled.

He politely explains to them what the professor has told him. He was just repeating it word for word but during that, somehow, he doesn’t exactly feel like he’s there at the moment. Like there was this dissonance of existing and functioning while his mind was elsewhere. 

It was as if he’s been submerged underwater and he could only vaguely hear the murmuring of words and the sound of his voice but he’s aware that he’s making some sense if the expressions on the other two was anything to go by. 

He gives them a slightly clipped smile after finishing which only makes the creases on Ingrid’s brow deepen with worry for who exactly he can’t say for sure now. Dedue himself seemed fairly stoic but he had a small frown on his face.

They seemed to have more questions but looking at his face it seemed whatever it was died on their tongue, turning their attention back to the group still inside the infirmary instead.

Right.

It wasn’t just him who’s worried.

He had to pull himself together.

He looks back towards Mercedes who’s still gently muttering to Annette, a cup of tea (still untouched) clutched tightly in her hands. To Sylvain who was now seated by Felix’s side (he was just fidgeting in his seat looking like he wanted to do something but can’t bring himself to) and then to Ashe who seemed like he wasn’t even trying to pay attention to whatever Manuela was telling him, something about his injuries and the like.

Dimitri clears his throat to get their attention. This atmosphere would really do no one any good.

It didn’t seem like anyone heard him though to which Ingrid, who was probably more than just a little frustrated on being late to know, spoke up.

“You are all acting as if he were already dead.”

Her voice sounded a little shrill in the stark quietness of the room. It was easy to tell that she was trying to keep her voice steady although it wavered slightly at the end. The word dead somehow stuck to his traitorous mind. And the anxieties began to build up again without his permission.

No one knew what to say to that but it seemed now that she has their attention.

“I don’t think he’d appreciate it if he were to wake up to all of you here, as he’d so elegantly put, _wallowing_, and not taking care of yourselves.” She was really doing her best to lighten the mood which admittedly wasn't exactly her strong suit. That was often Sylvain’s job. So it came across as clumsy instead. But the intention was there.

If Felix was awake, he’d probably scoff at all of them for looking so pathetic.

The thought almost makes him wanna laugh.

It was quite ironic that it would be the prickly swordsman’s snark that would get them through this.

Dimitri glances back at the figure on the bed and kept thinking to himself.

_Not dead. Asleep. Not dead. Not dead. Not dead..._

He closes his eyes and counts to three.

He must have been quiet for too long because Ingrid is speaking up again.

“You guys should go get some rest, I believe you all had a long day. We can bring your dinner to your rooms as well, if you wish.” She casts a meaningful glance at Mercedes.

Thankfully she nods and gently removes the teacup from Annete’s hands, placing it on the table before helping her stand. 

“Then we’ll be excusing ourselves for the evening.” 

Dimitri could’ve sworn he heard Annette muttering to herself as she was ushered out the infirmary. “It was my fault...Felix..he…” And then Mercedes shushes her again, the sound of the two’s footsteps slowly fading the further away they got.

After he opens his eyes he just nodded his head towards Ingrid’s direction in thanks and picking up from where she left off.

He licks his dry lips, “Can you walk Sylvain?”

The redhead was silent for a moment and Dimitri wonders again if his voice was just too soft to be heard when he finally spoke up. The chair he sat on creaking with the slightest shift in movement.

“Yeah, It’s...just a flesh wound is all, I’m fine.” His leg was all bandaged up now. “Should be healing up in no time,” He added in for good measure as he waved a hand dismissively.

“It should so as long as you don’t put too much strain on it and get proper bed rest.” Manuela reminded him with a knowing expression but said nothing else and busied herself with writing something on paper which explained her silence this whole time. And Dimitri found that he didn’t really care much to know what it was for.

“Rather than me, you should worry more about Ashe he-”

“-I’m fine.” The response came too quickly which could only make them assume that no, he’s not fine. At least, not completely. Either way Sylvain wasn’t fooled and simply raised a brow at him.

Ashe looks away, shaking his head. “I’m fine. _ Really _.” He insisted. “It’s not as bad as it looks…”

Dimitri just found himself nodding again, noticing a slight tension in the air that wasn’t there before.

Dedue steps up beside him, “Your highness, I can prepare dinner.” It sounded more like a statement rather than an offer. However, before he can respond Ashe pipes up at that.

“Oh, I’ll help too!”

There was a faux cheer in his voice that Dimitri almost cringed at the sound of it.

“Uhh, no you’re _ not _?” Ingrid replies for him. Funny how the world just continues to move on while it seems like he’s stuck in one place. His tongue heavy in his mouth.

There was a flash of _ something _ in Ashe’s expression, it happened too quickly for Dimitri to grasp what it was exactly. “You need to rest your arm.” He finally manages to say.

Ashe now gives him a look, something between desperation and…guilt.

He was aware that a lot of them blamed themselves for this whole fiasco though truly no one here was at fault.

Ashe seemed like he just wants to do something to get his mind off it. Which he can understand.

But even so.

“I’m sorry Ashe, but you shouldn’t push yourself for now.” He really didn’t want to upset him, not when his spirits seemed at an all time low.

“But your highness I can still--”

Whatever protest he had was cut off however when Manuela spoke up.

“Now now, his highness has spoken. And your friends aren’t wrong. You need to rest too.” She chided him softly and when it seemed Ashe still wanted to argue she added, “Doctor’s orders.” to which his shoulders finally sagged down in defeat.

“Okay,” He nodded, looking much too small in the moment that Dimitri had to look away.

“You can help once you’re feeling better.” Dedue says, still by his side. 

Ashe just nods again, moving to exit the room.

“I’ll go with you,” Ingrid is walking towards him.

“I can walk just fine, but Sylvain may need some assistance.” Ashe pointedly looking over to the redhead, there was a slight smugness in his tone. It seemed Sylvain noticed that this was payback for earlier when he deflected their attention towards him.

He gives a wry grin at that before chuckling.

“I was kinda hoping you guys forgot about that.”

Ingrid just scoffs, “As if. C’mon you, you also need to get some rest.”

“Yes, yes, no more arguing here, please. You’re disturbing my patients.” Manuela added with a soft huff as she leaned on one of the tables. “Since you’re all treated you should go to your own rooms. This isn’t free real estate.” 

Sylvain just snorted a laugh at that and it even gets a grin from Ingrid and a chuckle from Ashe.

And just like that the tension faded away. 

The three excused themselves with Ingrid helping Sylvain walk and Ashe in tow, ready to lend a hand if needed. The redhead giving Dimitri a look before muttering a quiet, “Look after him for us okay, your highness?” 

The words seem to get stuck on his throat again. Just what was wrong with him today?

Injuries were a common thing. He shouldn’t lose his function to talk or speak like this.

“Y-yeah. I will.” 

Seemingly satisfied with the response, Sylvain gave a soft hum, glancing back at the bed shortly, gets this look in his eyes before continuing on out. 

After watching the three disappear off as they rounded into the corner, his gaze travels back to the figure sound asleep.

Yeah, that sounded much better than unconscious.

Somehow, he couldn’t bring himself to get closer to the bed itself. To... to inspect his friend and gauge how bad the injuries look for himself. He doesn’t think he can stomach it right now, especially not when he thinks that there’s a chance that…

That Felix may never wake up the same as he was. How bad it’d affect him. _If_ he’d wake up at all--

He hadn’t even realized that Dedue was still right there beside him until the other had spoken up, startling him slightly.

“Are you alright, your highness?”

That title again, he didn’t even have the energy to correct them earlier on, and he still didn’t now.

He looks up and sees the concern on Dedue’s face plain as day.

“Why are you asking me that?” He manages to say. Because really, if anything he should’ve asked that to those who were actually injured. Those were _ there _.

He realizes then how defensive that must’ve come off so he quickly adds, “I’m fine.” 

It was clearly a lie that he ignores whatever expression Dedue may be giving him now and stares at the wall across him. He was certain he heard Manuela click her tongue at that as if to remind him that she was also still there. 

He ignored her too.

A lot of them were saying it without meaning to anyway so it was only fair that he got to as well, right?

Besides, if he believed it hard enough then he would be fine eventually, so it was a half-truth at best.

“It’s alright to be worried.” Dedue says. Calmly. Knowingly.

“I know.” He responds mechanically.

Silence.

"Do not fret, Dedue." He offers what he hopes to be a reassuring smile this time but a voice in the back of his head reminds him of how hypocritical and cowardly he is when he is unable to meet the other's eyes.

“I’ll be fine.” He lies, like a liar.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me: //writes semi-angst the whole first chapter  
Me: haha what if I end it on a meme..  
Haha just kidding..  
...Unless?
> 
> ayee thank you all so much for the kudos and for commenting! I really appreciate it!

It has only been a couple of days since the incident. Up till now they still weren’t any close to getting answers on what happened nor did Felix seem to be waking up anytime soon.

Dimitri finds himself visiting the infirmary more often than not. Whether it be before he goes about his day or after training or anywhere in between. It seems that watching the blanket on Felix’s chest rise and fall slowly to show that _ yes _ he was still most definitely _ alive _, was becoming of a small comfort to him as silly as the notion is. 

Sometimes Manuela would catch him there in complete silence, staring into space --sometimes at Felix’s face before tearing his eyes away. Somehow feeling that, up till now, he could hear the other’s voice scolding him to ‘stop staring’. And he wanted to respect that. He wanted to respect all those boundaries he had, asleep or not.

And so he usually just stood by the bed, not daring to approach much less touch that private bubble, before someone who also comes to visit offers him a chair where he’d then decline and then excuse himself for the day. 

Not that the rest of the Blue Lions didn’t have the same ideas. Sylvain being the most frequent visitor and yet he’s learned that the training grounds had become a personal haunt for him as of late. Which was rather odd since normally one would expect him to happily play hookie and just spend his time here in the infirmary.

But no, he’d been quite diligent all of a sudden. He attended training daily, eager to spar with the others no matter who as if taking on Felix’s mantle himself. Though it was more likely that he still blamed himself for not being able to protect Felix from harm.

Thankfully, he didn’t overwork himself seeing as he was just recovering from an injury. It only took a couple of days to heal -thank the Goddess-, and Sylvain had wasted no time in whipping himself back to shape to make up for those few days. Or so he proclaimed anyway.

Ingrid also made it a habit to visit often, usually with one of their classmates in tow. She’d fuss around quietly, making sure everything was in order and was clearly bothered that there was nothing more she can do but wait. He could understand the sentiment.

Dimitri could only be thankful that she was able to hold herself up better than the rest, because he sure wouldn’t know what he’d do if she started breaking down too. Still, he makes sure to remind her not to forget to eat when he notices her skipping a meal or two in the following days.

Mercedes comes by to check on Felix’s condition whenever Manuela wasn’t able to, but even then she always made time for him regardless. Often by her side would be Annette who would either be silent by his bed or trying hard not to cry once he comes into sight.

That was often hard to watch.

She’d mutter things under her breath, angrily, sadly, and then furiously apologizing while choking back on her tears before Mercedes comes to soothe her.

“It’s not your fault, Annie.” She’d assure the younger girl.

Annette would vehemently deny her claims and start saying things about how she wasn’t there and there was _ so _ much blood. Felix’s blood. And she really thought he had died and it would be all her fault. Then she’d be crying again and Dimitri has to walk out before he starts to feel like crying with her too.

Ashe wrings his hands as he usually does whenever he gets nervous and ends up babbling to Manuela or whoever else was present whether it be to ask on Felix’s condition, progress and what he could do to help.

Sometimes he comes by to read him a book, Dimitri would stop by outside not wanting to disturb him. It was often about Knights, something he’s certain that Felix despises but he wouldn’t take this away from Ashe. Not when this was his source of comfort as watching Felix breathe in and out was for him.

It was mostly Dedue and Mercedes who comes and brings them some food or snacks while they wait there in silence, remind them that they should not forget to take care of themselves. It was grounding, and on a good day they fill the room with some idle chatter. But still, even then the lingering feeling of dread never quite left.

The professor also comes by to check in on them from time to time. Sometimes it seemed that they were more worried about them than Felix.

“He’ll get better,” They’d say reassuringly, “Don’t give up hope.”

Dimitri remembers, however, catching them standing by Felix’s bed alone a couple day’s back, head bowed and quietly muttering things. It seemed that they were more torn about it than they showed but that was understandable, they were their professor after all. They felt responsible for them.

He recalls not wanting to interrupt what ought to be a private moment and attempted to leave but the quietness in the surroundings allowed him to catch a bit of what the professor was saying.

His heart thudded at the ‘I’m sorry’ and ‘I really tried.’

Dimitri already felt bad for having accidentally eavesdropped but just as he finally willed himself away from the door, like a curse or something, what he heard next left a chill down his spine.

“There was no other way.”

He practically runs into Ingrid around the corner, apologizing quickly before taking off. 

He didn’t want to think about the implications of what their professor had just said.

Dimitri knows he should not doubt them, perhaps he had just misheard, but at the same time they seemed to know more about something and didn’t bother informing them, so he just takes another sip of his already lukewarm tea to keep himself from answering.

* * *

It was a week later when Felix finally begun to stir.

At that time it was only Dimitri in the room. Manuela had left to grab them both some lunch for whatever reason. Maybe she felt the need to get some air, or perhaps it was the fact that the longer it took Felix to wake up the more pitiful everyone looked and she can no longer bear to see their faces. He stood by the bed silently yet again, searching the other’s face for any signs of waking. And when he, unsurprisingly, found none he still felt a bit disappointed.

He’s not sure how long he--no, _ they _ could hold on like this.

Felix wasn’t dead. And yet. It was starting to feel like he was. An annoyingly intrusive thought, honestly. Everyone was doing the best they can to carry on with their day to day lives but…

Clearly something had to be wrong, it’s been too long now and what would happen to Felix’s unconscious body if it hadn’t eaten or drank. Would it just start wasting away? He’s not entirely sure what the healers do about it but the thought only adds more to his growing anxieties. 

How long will they have to wait like this? A moon? A _ year _?

The idea felt...painful. But he told himself it should be okay.

Better asleep than dead.

Anything better than death.

Right?

This was temporary. The alternative permanent. 

No matter how much it hurt to see their friend like this. His friend.

He didn’t need more ghosts haunting him. 

Dimitri let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding, his legs felt as if they were about to give out on him that he finally decided to take a seat on the chair placed beside the bed, his hands resting resolutely on his lap. 

He’ll just sit here for a little bit. 

Just for a little while longer. 

That should be alright. 

He’s not even staring at him. Doesn’t even let his fingers near the sheets.

This should suffice.

And if his fingers twitch slightly without his consent, he ignores it. He doesn’t even understand what they want to do. And he feels sort of afraid to think about it any further.

He looks back at Felix’s chest. Almost mesmerized by the rise and fall as he breathed in and out, in and out. 

He finds himself breathing along with him too and calming slightly.

For once, he belatedly realizes, his thoughts aren’t filled with getting revenge.

It’s just Felix. Only Felix.

He doesn’t know whether to be happy now that the voices of the dead aren’t invading his thoughts every so often and instead replaced by the dread of never seeing him open his eyes again.

Regardless of what Felix says about their… strained relationship, to him, he was still a dear friend.

He tries not to let his mind wander too much, lest his hands started having a will of their own and do things Felix himself wouldn’t like...

Like... taking hold of his hand. Feel how warm they are. To let him know that yes, he is still alive. That he’s still _ here _. He won’t leave, not yet. Not if he had anything to say about it. In fact, he’d very much welcome all those barbed words tossed at him, the scowls, the disappointment in his eyes if it meant that he’d be awake again. 

Even if things can never go back to how it used to be.

Still, a part of him yearns for his forgiveness. And he can’t ask for that if Felix doesn’t wake up.

Though maybe it’s too presumptuous of him to even think Felix would ever forgive him. But he hopes, Goddess above, in his weakest moments, he still hopes.

He’s only now noticed his hands balled into fists on his lap, gripping the cloth of his uniform tightly and he observes how white the knuckles, _ his _ knuckles, had become before slowly releasing it. 

Great, it was wrinkled now.

Silently chastising himself for having let his mind wander anyway and to an extent still having poor control of his strength, he fails to take note of the slight movement on the bed beside him.

He was trying to smooth down his pants as best as he could when he heard a voice spoke.

“Dimitri..?”

It sounded soft and uncertain, a little rough from disuse but there was no mistaking whose it was.

What was startling was that it was both familiar and not.

Not because it had been awhile, no, he didn’t think his memory to be that bad.

But.

As his eyes snapped up to inspect his face, he now found himself at a loss of words.

If it was the rather strange tone he’d used, Dimitri would have thought nothing of it, simply dismissing it with the fact that Felix was just coming to himself after many days of sleep.

What surprised him was that he referred to him by his name.

Not boar or boar prince or anything of the like.

Just _ Dimitri _.

He swallows heavily.

He didn’t ever think he’d hear it again and it takes him back to a time when things weren’t so complicated. Before his mind was filled with thoughts of vengeance.

The thoughts while not unwelcome were both nostalgic and leaving an unsettling feeling in the pit of his stomach that he immediately thinks that maybe he had just imagined it? 

But as he looks at Felix trying to rub the sleep from his eyes, he decides that that shouldn’t be his main concern at the moment.

Felix on his part, now looking much more awake blinks at him.

Perhaps he wasn’t expecting to see his face first thing when he woke up.

And in the back of his mind he was waiting for his features to morph into its usual default scowl, or a sneer even.

But again, to his surprise, he does none of those and simply stares back at him. Assessing him.

Dimitri is not sure what to make of it, the thought of running to get Manuela or Mercedes to check on him doesn’t even come to mind as he opens and closes his mouth, floundering uselessly as he tried to come up with something to say when the silence stretched on.

“Felix,” He breathes. You’re finally awake.” 

Everything felt still as they just stared at each other. 

“How are you feeling?” He added before offering him a small smile when there was no response.

Dimitri’s mind was still trying to process things, after all it was unlikely that he fell asleep and began to dream this up, right? But Felix’s unresponsiveness as a whole was somewhat alarming.

“O-oh, water! Right, you must be parched--let me get some for you--” He shot up from his seat and found his way over to the small table near the bed where some refreshments were kept.

He was carefully pouring water into a glass, trying to compose himself and collect his thoughts when Felix spoke up again.

“Dimitri.” 

It was said more firmly this time. As if he’s certain that this was in fact, Dimitri.

And Dimitri. Well, if he had spilled some of the water on the table he can only blame it on his nerves, how he was glad that Felix was awake now. A little out of it, sure, but awake.

And calling him by his name.

He’s not sure how to feel about that.

But now he’s sure that it was Felix who said it earlier and not something his mind had made up.

“Yes? That’s uh -that’s me.” 

He couldn’t help the nervous chuckle that followed after because what else could he say to that? As the words escape him though, he half expects Felix to somehow take it the wrong way and get angry as he usually does. But none of that happens when he turns around to glance at him. Instead what he finds is Felix just slowly sitting himself up, his long hair spilling over his shoulder as he takes in his surroundings.

Okay.

“You’re at the infirmary,” He explains the obvious, if nothing else, the silence from the other was really…

Really what?

His words got Felix’s attention back on him though as the swordsman just tilted his head, as if waiting for him to elaborate. So he does.

“You, ah, took a hit to the head and you’ve been unconscious for about a week since then.” Carefully, he brings the glass over once it was full, making sure he was a good distance away in case Felix was suddenly reminded about how he hated him.

And as if wanting to betray all his expectations, Felix just stares at the cup. Looks back up at Dimitri before accepting it. He doesn’t drink it right away, he just peers down at the liquid. 

Perhaps he needed some time to process all this? After all, Manuela did say that--

Oh right. Manuela, he had to go and call her--

“Dimitri.” He says again after. Quieter. He hasn’t really said anything else save for his name.

But that was all it took for the thoughts to run out the infirmary to get someone to check on Felix out of his head and to stand still.

“Yeah? Did you want something else to drink? Does it hurt anywhere?” He can’t help but ask because something definitely felt wrong here, he just wasn't sure what it was exactly. Nevermind his tone when speaking to him but the demeanor as well.

Felix blinks at his words before shaking his head and finally taking a small sip. And then he was chugging the whole thing down that Dimitri worried he might accidentally choke himself.

“Hey, slow down a bit--” He began, his hands hovering in the air, just stopping a few spaces short of Felix’s shoulder but ultimately not doing anything useful.

Fortunately, Felix listens and slows down, only looking back up at Dimitri when the glass was empty. 

Dimitri thought about offering him some more and maybe tell him that he should go and get someone but before he could do any of that, Felix was talking to him again. Looking at him, not glaring or scowling but just _ looking _ at him with an expression he can’t quite place.

“You cut your hair.”

* * *

Everything felt like a daze after that.

At some point, someone had come by and saw that Felix was awake and went to fetch Manuela.

And he. He was led outside the infirmary as a couple of healers came by to check on Felix’s condition. Not that he minded, he sort of needed some time to let what Felix said sink in.

Just what did he mean by that exactly? His hair had always been kept this short before he came here.

He hasn’t even gotten a few steps away when Mercedes came out to get him again. His confusion must be apparent on his face because she explains that Felix wouldn’t let anyone near him and kept asking for Dimitri. It was clear that she too was puzzled by this odd development.

Once he strides back through the doors, the first thing he sees is Felix wrestling away from Manuela’s grip stubbornly, making it harder for her to examine him. The few healers around not quite knowing what to do in this situation as the swordsman thrashed and growled at anyone else that tried to get closer.

It was only when Felix spotted Dimitri at the door that some of the tension from his shoulders faded, the fight leaving him almost immediately and giving him the most heart-wrenching expression that he hasn’t seen on him in a long time and his heart starts to beat erratically in his chest when he realizes that the latter seemed to be near to tears before he came back in.

“Dimitri…” The voice although deeper now, sounded so pitiful and -heavens dare he say it- _ scared _ that he was by Felix’s side before he could even process what he was doing. A strong and somewhat clammy hand attaches itself onto his arm as soon as he gets there and Felix almost all but throws himself at him. And if it weren’t for Manuela’s own steel grip keeping him to the bed, Dimitri had a feeling that Felix probably would have done just that if his expression was anything to go by.

Seeing that his friend needed some reassurance for whatever reason, he allows himself to rest a soothing hand over Felix’s. Felix chokes back a sob at this and seems to squeeze himself closer to Dimitri while a burst of murmurs began in the infirmary along with a few gasps. Mercedes, bless her soul, asked them to give them some space for now and went to lead them out as to not stress Felix out any further.

Once they were gone and Felix had somewhat settled by his side, he finally finds the words he wanted to ask ever since Felix woke up.

“What’s wrong with him?”

He tries to not let Felix stiffening by his side bother him for now because he needed answers.

Manuela eyes them both carefully before slowly relaxing her grip on the swordsman and as soon as she does, Felix wrenched his arm free almost immediately and stubbornly stuck to Dimitri’s side, before burrowing his face in it. Dimitri, thankfully, doesn’t stumble when he does this and if his pulse races into overdrive, he ignores it.

He’s just worried is all. 

Truly.

“That’s what I wanted to ask you.”

He glances back down at Felix who seems resolute on not looking at anyone or offering any sort of explanation whatsoever for his actions.

“What do you mean?”

Manuela just sighs and urges him to take a seat in one of the chairs available. It was a little hard to do so when Felix was adamant on...well... clinging to him, but after some coaxing, the other allowed him some space to be able to move a chair and sit down before resuming his tight hold on his arm again.

“Nevermind,” She says instead, only making Dimitri feel a tad bit frustrated when she still wasn’t explaining everything and yet acted as if he held the answers. Did she think he had a hand in Felix acting ...unlike his usual self? 

“He refused to let anyone near him, much less touch him and kept calling for you. By name” She enunciates the last part carefully, gauging his reaction. After all the nickname Felix refers to him as was no big secret. It was all Felix ever called him. Dimitri, however, gave no indication that he was bothered by the claim -having already heard it himself a couple of times earlier- urging her to continue on the more pressing matters instead.

“Anyway now that you’re here, hopefully this should go smoother now.” Then in a gentler tone, as if coaxing a frightened wild animal, “Felix? Is it alright if we go check on your injuries now? Your Dimitri is here.” She tacks the last bit with a slightly teasing lilt, as if amused.

Dimitri just groans at that, he didn’t really find the situation funny, it was more disconcerting to say the least.

Mercedes who had come back inside at that moment, decided not to comment and began to pour them some tea instead. Meanwhile, Felix warily peeks an eye out to observe Manuela, who only continued to offer him a patient smile. When it was clear she wasn’t gonna do anything else, he glances back towards Dimitri questioningly. As if, he was awaiting his approval.

Dimitri clears his throat and nods at him. “She’s fine, you’ll be fine, Felix.” He assured him and still not understanding why he needed to be. It was only Manuela after all. He could trust her. He knew Felix could be...stubborn when it came to others looking after him and his injuries but he should’ve been used to her by now.

At his words alone it seemed to calm Felix down even more as he finally settles down a bit more properly on the bed, although his hand still grasped onto Dimitri’s own now instead of on his arm. Felix also didn’t seem too keen on speaking and directed his gaze onto his lap instead.

Manuela took this as a go ahead and began her inspection but also making sure to ask him permission whenever she was about to do something in case the other lashed out again in panic.

After sometime in between that, Mercedes had handed them some tea, although Manuela opted to drink hers later once she was done checking on Felix’s injuries. Mercedes found a chair to sit on once Manuela said it was fine for her to stay in case she needed assistance and waited for them to finish. 

“Well, the good news is that your wounds are healing well.” She states after she reapplies the bandages on his torso. “You’ll still feel a little sore but it should be fine after a day or so.”

Manuela had then taken to asking Felix some questions now, just simple yes or no questions as she didn’t want to overwhelm him or something. Felix still refused to talk to her, however, and so she settled with having him just nod or shake his head.

“Do you remember how you got your injuries?”

Felix didn’t even blink as he shook his head no.

“How about the day before that?”

Felix shook his head again.

Dimitri found himself growing more and more concerned at that. Manuela just gives a thoughtful hum on the other hand, her expression rather calm and not betraying whatever it was she was thinking at the moment. Just nodding here and there before writing some stuff down.

“Felix, I’m gonna change the question a bit and it would really be helpful if you could answer this one, alright?”

Felix paused, seemed to think hard on it before nodding his head once. 

“Okay.” His voice was oddly meek and quiet, that unsettling feeling Dimitri felt from before returned upon hearing it again.

“What is the last thing you remember before you got hurt?”

“Home.”

“Your home?”

He nods again.

Manuela looks a little lost when he doesn’t elaborate.

“Hmm, what else do you recall about it? Did anything significant happen then?”

Felix bites his lip a little before adding.

“Dimitri.” He says nodding to himself. “He was there.”

“Oh?” Manuela raises a brow at Dimitri at that but Dimitri he…

He suddenly felt like whatever Felix was about to say wasn’t gonna be anything good because…

Because if _ that _ was the last memory he recalls then that...that was _ years _ ago. Before they became students here at the monastery. The only question now was if it was before or after the tragedy of Duscur happened… 

“He looked different then.” Felix muses, “His hair was longer.”

There’s a lump in his throat now, he feels light-headed, and if his hold on Felix’s hand tightens he doesn’t realize until Felix is looking back at him with a concerned expression on his normally irritated face. 

“What’s wrong, Dimitri?” 

Goddess, even how he says his name is bringing all sorts of things back.

“Ah,” He says when he realizes that he still hasn’t said anything and the silence had stretched on for too long to be normal. “Nothing is wrong. You should be more concerned about yourself.” He responds with a stiff smile so it’s no surprise at all that Felix doesn’t buy it one bit and frowns at him.

He opens his mouth to question him more but Manuela coughs politely as if to bring his focus back at the situation at hand which does nothing more than to cause Felix to grumble under his breath.

“Anything else?”

Felix’s brows furrowed slightly in thought before ultimately shaking his head. 

“No.”

Dimitri was not surprised in the slightest when a while later, Manuela had diagnosed Felix with amnesia.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a heads up that the next chapter may take a little longer since I only have it partly written but yeah hopefully we get to Felix meeting the blue lions cast in the next one and the shenanigans can finally begin! Thank you for reading!!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this took so long! I had to make an outline so I get an idea for how long this fic is going to be! I don’t really plan for it to be too long! This is all un beta-ed so please forgive my mistakes as English isn't my first language huhu... but thank you once again for all the kudos and comments! :') you guys are so sweet!! 
> 
> Also this is late but hi feel free to yell at me at @_mochinchin about fe3h!! Shoutout to fin and lumi bc thanks to u guys im doubly embarrassed over posting things now!! I’m gonna kick you both!! Anyway, thanks again for reading and let me know what you think!

They finished up their discussion for the day when Felix began to doze off as it was, the situation was probably harder to take in for him the most, with Manuela mentioning that she will be informing their professor about it. She hadn’t dealt much of cases like this in the first place, it had mostly been physical injuries so she carefully thought their options over. 

During the next few days, Felix slipped in and out of consciousness while his body recovered. Although he seemed relatively fine his body still needed some time to recuperate so he was asleep most of the time and only managing to stay awake for a few hours. The rest of the Blue Lions hadn’t been informed that he had woken up as per Manuela’s request due to how she still had to think of their next course of action and Felix’s treatment. 

From there, Manuela decided it was best to keep this under wraps for now, with Felix keeping a low profile for his own safety. After all, he didn’t have the knowledge and experience he had before when it came to fighting and it would be bad if other unsavory individuals caught wind of this and took advantage of it. 

Basically, the less people that knew, the better. 

Aside from Manuela herself, only Mercedes, Byleth and himself were aware of it. And as much as he respected their professor’s abilities, he was honestly still unsure if informing them about it was the right call, but he had to put those doubts aside since having an adult in the same space would surely prove more helpful than not if something were to happen. And so came the plan to limit the number of visits they allowed for the day and while it was difficult to get the Blue Lions to visit less and on times when Felix was resting, they managed somehow. Not that they had to do it for very long.

Manuela had recommended that Felix stay at the infirmary for another week so she could keep a close eye on his condition. Or that _ was _ the plan anyway, but come three days later since he had woken up, Felix had already began insisting that he was fine as he didn’t like being cooped up for too long. Cabin Fever, was what Manuela called it with a slight shake of her head but relenting in the end.

So yes, currently Dimitri was taking Felix back to the dorms where he was told to get some more rest.

Which was fine and all, but..

The problem was how they were going to explain this to the others since it was inevitable that someone was gonna think something’s off when they see the two suddenly all …close. Felix, after all, was quite transparent with how he couldn’t stand being in the same room with him much less have a proper conversation without the other insulting him. He’s honestly still in a bit of shock as the past few days had been the most he had been able to talk to the swordsman in years since… since the incident.

Explaining things to Felix was a whole other problem too. Dimitri wasn’t sure on how to go about how he should act. Should he be more distant towards him to not raise any suspicion from others? This Felix would probably not take that too kindly.

Dimitri glances towards the other walking alongside him, straying longer on his hair that swayed distractingly with each step.

He tries to ignore the slight flutter in his chest upon seeing this Felix with his hair down but his mind couldn’t help fixating on it for whatever reason. 

No. Actually, it was probably because seeing him like that made Felix look more ...exposed or... vulnerable than he has seen in a long time. Even compared to when he was unconscious and cooped up in the infirmary. He distantly wonders how Felix would react to seeing how he’s changed over the years.

And as if reading Dimitri’s mind, Felix looked at him and says, “My hair, It’s longer.”

“Ah, well yes it is.” Because again, he doesn't really know what Felix expects him to say to that, it's not like the older Felix told him why he grew it out.

“But yours is shorter now.” He pointed out, as if that explained everything.

Noticing his lack of response to that, Felix huffed before elaborating. “I thought that if I were to grow it long it would've been so we matched.” the word ‘obviously’ was left unsaid but was highly apparent in his tone.

“Oh.” 

“I mean, doesn’t it get in the way? I wonder what I was thinking…” Felix looks thoughtful as he examines a lock of hair. “Maybe I should cut it off--”

“No!” They both winced at Dimitri’s sudden outburst as the sound echoed along the empty hallway.

Felix turned to stare at him with a questioning look and Dimitri feels panicked as he repeats again, only softer this time, “I mean, no. It’s uh...fine.”

Felix just continues to stare. Dimitri clears his throat,

“It looks good. You-you look good.” 

Goddess have mercy, if the old Felix came back to find himself with shorter hair because of him, he’d never forgive him. Or well, never forgive him twice. Do those things stack? 

He feels a bit embarrassed for feeling so flustered over giving a simple compliment though. It was just Felix after all. He doesn’t understand why he feels so...fidgety around him.

But then he hears something akin to a laugh, a breathy kind of sound that has Dimitri’s head turning almost reflexively to look. Which is understandable because it’s a sound he hasn’t heard in years.

Felix was smiling at him. Soft and fond. His breath catches in his throat at the sight.

“I think you look good too.”

* * *

They decided to talk in Felix’s room since it was most likely no one would bother them there. Regardless, it was in the middle of the afternoon so everyone should still be in class.

Felix seemed oddly pleased? to find out that their rooms were right beside each other. Something he’s certain that the older Felix disliked as whenever they ran into each other first thing in the morning, the other would always walk in a brisk pace to avoid arriving to class together. They somehow had this awful timing of rising at the same time. Perhaps a habit that had been engraved since their childhood of growing up together.

Once they arrived, Dimitri lingered at the doorway for a bit. Never mind the fact that Felix was here with him right now and was more than okay with him entering, it still felt like he was invading his private space. 

His eyes wandered over to a couple of swords hung on the walls, to the pile of books collecting some dust on his desk, the topmost one seemed to be about knights (Did Ashe lend him that?), then to Felix himself and gave him a moment to inspect his surroundings. 

Everything was kept orderly, which shouldn’t be a surprise as the room had been left untouched for several days. The warm afternoon light bathes the room with a cozy glow as Felix wanders over to the mirror on his desk and stops there.

For a moment he thinks he sees a hint of apprehension in his expression, but that couldn’t be right. Did he find something displeasing? 

The expression was soon replaced by something akin to curiosity as he tilts his head this way and that, letting his fingers drift into his dark locks once more. Felix hums softly before letting his hand fall back down, seeming to be satisfied after scrutinizing himself and lets his gaze travel back to where Dimitri stood. And Dimitri feels like he’s trespassing all over again.

“Are you coming inside or not?” There was a hint of amusement in Felix’s eyes as his lips quirked at the corners. “You’re acting like you’ve never been here.”

Which he finds funny, because he’s right. He never has. And never even thought he would ever be able to again.

“Right,” He exhales quietly before stepping into the room and closing the door behind him. 

Dimitri then began to describe to him in detail about their fellow Blue Lions, having already informed him of what caused him to lose his memories back when he was still staying in the infirmary. “Well, you’ve already met Mercedes, she was the long-haired girl with us when you first woke up.”

Felix listened with rapt attention the whole time, his brows furrowed slightly at certain points and he’d ask some questions or he’d just smile a little whenever he finds something particularly amusing.

For one, Felix was glad to hear that Sylvain and Ingrid were not only studying with them but were classmates as well. He also asked a lot about how Dimitri was faring and Dimitri deftly dodges the more sensitive topics, mostly for Felix’s sake. 

He recounts the other events that went on instead. 

Dimitri also decides to save re-introducing the students from other houses another time (except for the house leaders since it would be weird if he didn’t know them while with the others they could just play it off as Felix being his usual unsociable self...) and moved on to the more important things like… how they were supposed to act from here on out. 

Which again, seemed to be a big problem from Felix’s demeanor around him alone. The fact that he refused to leave his side was another factor to put in but Manuela had told him to just say that she assigned him to look after him for the time being as if that would explain Felix’s newfound attachment to him.

“--simply frown at them and cross your arms. Also be sure to mention that it’s a waste of your time or if that doesn’t work you may walk away.” He was in the middle of explaining how Felix should react to questions he doesn’t know if he wasn’t around. Felix just makes an irritated expression throughout, which Dimitri doesn’t understand why until he speaks up.

“Why bother? Where else would I be if not with you?” He states it so plainly, so simply. Felix had always been decisive. It was something Dimitri always admired about him. But now...

Dimitri’s heart hurts.

“Ah, well...” he coughs, willing his stuttering heart to calm down. To not be too overjoyed as it aches. Aches with a longing knowing this can’t possibly be permanent. “Regardless, it would be best to be prepared for anything.” When Felix didn’t say anything else, he continues.

Dimitri likes to think that he was quite knowledgeable on how the older Felix responded whenever he found something upsetting, and it certainly helped that he was constantly at the tail end of his ire. It’s nothing to be proud of, that's for sure, he never even thought that it would prove useful till now.

“How come I sound so rude?” Felix scrunches up his nose, frowning slightly. “And what if they’re persistent and try to follow me anyway?”

Dimitri just laughs at that. He doesn’t want to make comparisons as that will only bring up the matter with Glenn. Glenn was a can of worms he’s not sure he wants to open just yet. There’s a dull ache in his chest, a hint of a whisper at the back of his head just at the mere thought of him. To not let anything seem amiss, he tries to focus on Felix’s face and lists down all the differences they had instead. Sunset-like eyes, not aqua blue. The shape of his face and eyes. The-

“I’m sure there are those who find it rather charming.” he continues before turning to examine his hands when Felix gives him an odd look. “And if they do you can come and find me I suppose?”

Felix makes a noncommittal hum in response. They were seated across each other, whereas Felix sat on his bed, Dimitri chose to sit on the lone chair by his desk.

He thinks that he should be happy that he could perhaps start anew with him like this, but instead he feels conflicted because he knows this wasn’t their Felix. And that if Felix hadn’t found him worthy of forgiveness then, then he certainly hasn’t earned it now and he shouldn’t push his luck even with the other more amiable towards him.

Even if some tiny part of him yearned for their childhood days, he realizes with a start that now that he has some semblance of it...there’s an odd feeling he can’t quite put into words. 

He doesn’t dislike this Felix, not in the slightest, but at the same time, there’s this weird longing for the one he’s grown accustomed to. Even if that Felix did hate him. Even if the chances of fixing things between them were close to none.

“Do you want me to bring your food here?” He finds himself asking when he noticed the sun setting. Evening had come before they knew it and he began thinking of some excuse to tell the others on why he missed class (unless the professor already provided one for him) and eating dinner in his room too. He could feign illness but that will only bring more attention to him. It’s a surprise that Dedue hasn’t come to seek him out yet at this point.

“There would be a lot of people in the cafeteria right now and I wouldn't want you to feel overwhelmed.”

“No,” Felix shakes his head as he stands up and Dimitri thought he was going to skip eating altogether until he walked towards the closet and turned back to look at him, “If it’s all the same to you, I’d like to take a bath first. I feel gross.”

And Dimitri he…he snorts before politely covering his mouth at the rather unexpectedly Felix-like response he’s heard in a while. Which is weird because this _ is _ Felix.

“Right,” he tries to will his smile away “Of course.” 

“Do they provide towels there?” Felix asks, taking out pieces of clothing and inspecting them.

“Yes, there is also a room where you can change at as well.”

There was a lull in the conversation for a moment, only the rustling of fabric as Felix busied himself on what to wear before he paused and then proceeded to stare at Dimitri.

Dimitri shifts a bit in his spot when Felix just raises a brow at him.

Was he missing something here?

He opens his mouth to ask but Felix cuts him off, “Well? Are you just gonna sit there?”

“I beg your pardon?”

Was he supposed to do something in particular?

“Are you not going to get a change of clothes too?”

Huh?

He must look really lost because he sees Felix rolling his eyes. Yeah. Definitely a habit he picked up from Glenn.

“Well, unless you want me to wander around lost then I would assume you would be coming with me, Dimitri.” Felix picks out an ensemble similar to what he had been currently wearing and fully turned to him, hand on his hip and all. “And it would be weird if you just waited out there.”

Oh...

Oh.

He supposed there was logic in that.

So Felix was inviting him to take a bath together...

Alright.

It would be just like when they were kids.

Dimitri doesn’t know whether all this was a dream or a nightmare at this point.

With a nod, he walks to where Felix stood as the shorter of the two unceremoniously swung the door open.

And really, Dimitri should have known that things weren’t going to be easy. Not by a long shot. 

Because out there in the hall, right in front of Felix’s door, stood none other than Claude von Riegan.

* * *

“Hey.”

The simple greeting has Dimitri on edge almost immediately.

How long had he been standing there? Did he hear anything? And if he had, how much had he heard? 

The tension between them must have given him away because Claude is lifting a placating hand, which doesn't really do much of anything but make him tense further. “You guys should really be more careful.” he chuckles, all smiles that don’t quite reach his eyes. “The walls can be quite thin, and you never know who may be listening in but luckily for you it was just little old me.” 

“Claude.” He didn’t know what Claude wanted but he was left unsettled at the idea that the man already knew too much, and he levels him with a wary expression.

“No need to look at me like that, your Princeliness. I can keep a secret,” There was a slight pause. “or two.” and then there’s that playful wink. 

Felix just glances between the two of them.

“You heard?” 

“I didn’t mean to, if you’d kindly give me the benefit of the doubt.” Claude gives them a careless shrug, “I was just trying to get into my room. Then I overheard some voices, and well you can’t blame me for being a little curious, right? That room had been empty for about a week and there’s no way a haunting would happen now of all times.” He laughs a little to himself.

“How much did you hear?” Dimitri cuts to the chase, his normally practiced amiable voice taking a serious tone. 

Claude’s eyes seemed to light in amusement at that, which oddly makes Dimitri feel like they’re being teased. “Enough.”

“_Claude._”

“Oh, it’s nothing much really, just some bath time plans,” Dimitri colors as Claude laughs some more at his expense, “and…” his gaze was turned back to Felix for a moment. “--anyway, you don’t really have to worry about yours truly. If anything I’d be more than happy to lend a hand.”

Dimitri can’t help but wonder what he expects to gain from doing that for them. But voicing those thoughts out loud may seem ungrateful --rude even-- so instead he says, “It’s supposed to be kept a secret.”

“I know, I know.” Claude responds easily, nodding. “These lips are sealed.”

“Why are you helping us?” _so much for propriety_, he thinks as Felix asks anyway. Leave it to him to be straightforward where Dimitri could not.

Claude looked at the both of them thoughtfully before simply saying, “Diplomacy.”

“Diplomacy.” Felix deadpans.

“Yeah, I mean why not? It’s always nice to have a good relationship with a fellow soon-to-be leader,”

Felix doesn’t look like he’s buying it despite not remembering anything about Claude’s personality. But then again, Felix had always been astute.

“And?” he urges impatiently. 

They were both aware that no one would proceed to do a good deed without anything in exchange. Most especially if that favor was so easily given. It was something they both learned growing up as important nobles surrounded by many who would sacrifice anything to climb the social ladder. 

“_And,_” Claude drawls with a wry grin, “you could just think of it as owing me a favor. Sounds fair, yeah?” 

A favor from Claude? It sounded a lot like trouble but Dimitri supposed this would make a lot more sense rather than just wanting good relations.

“Alright then, I will keep that in mind. Thank you, Claude.”

The said man just waves a hand dismissively, “It’s fine, anyway, sorry to keep you two from your...plans.” He snickers and Dimitri has to hold back a groan.

After a few parting words, Claude heads back to his own room leaving them alone again.

There was a beat of silence before Dimitri turned to his own room to get his own change of clothes, Felix falling into step right beside him.

“_That _ was Claude?” He asks, disbelief coloring his tone.

This startles yet another laugh from him, the tension finally leaving his shoulders.

* * *

After their bath, the two of them headed back to the Dining Hall which would presumably have lesser people in it. Dimitri still didn’t like the idea of keeping Felix’s amnesia a secret from their fellow classmates, much less how he’d been awake for a couple of days now, but if it was for Felix's safety...then it couldn't be helped. He could only hope that if they were to run into any of them was that they wouldn’t be too angry.

Dimitri was surprised to find them all seated in one table. Dedue seemed to be gathering some dishes on a tray, while Annette picked at her food. The rest seemed to be locked in a discussion but the sound of the door opening had gotten their attention and he thinks belatedly that perhaps this had been a bad idea all along.

When the others found Felix practically attached at the hip with Dimitri of all people as soon as they arrived, they were more than just a little unnerved. Which, he supposed, was fair. But did they all have to react so...stunned?

The initial shock seemed to only last a couple of moments before they were bounding towards them in a rush. He thinks he felt Felix grab onto his cape out of reflex. He probably wasn’t expecting this kind of reaction despite what he told him.

A chorus of “Felix!” rung out at the fairly empty room. There were a few students from other houses lingering about who glanced over to their group, but it had mostly been them. 

“Sylvain!” He hears Felix gasp over the chatter around them, and he looks just in time to see the swordsman getting pulled into a tight hug.

Dedue comes to take his usual spot by Dimitri’s side, greeting him with a nod. 

“Your Highness. I’m glad to see that you are alright.” Did the Professor say that he was sick?

He just gives him a slightly clipped smile in return. “Yes, I apologize for not being able to inform you that I would be missing class.”

Dedue shakes his head, “It’s alright, the Professor explained it to us.” He glances over to Felix still trying to shove Sylvain away but to no avail and then back to Dimitri. “I was just about to bring a meal to your room. Although, I was delayed a bit by today’s task.” 

Dimitri feels the apology coming before Dedue even says it as he raises a hand. If he didn’t stop him now, he and Dedue would just apologize to each other back and forth. His lips smooth into an easier smile at the thought.

He changes the subject instead, “Did you get weeding duty?” Dimitri assumes this was the professor’s idea of buying them some time.

“Yes, that is correct, Your Highness.” 

“Dedue, I already told you, you don’t have to keep calling me that.” Dedue just gives him a look of discomfort so he doesn't bother pushing it. For now. And turns his attention back to the rest.

“Welcome back to the land of the living, Fe.” Sylvain says after he finally pulls back to inspect Felix more properly--and after a bunch of complaints from the others. Still, Dimitri takes note of how his hand remained fixed on Felix’s arm, almost as if it was Felix’s presence supporting him to stand. Or perhaps to make sure it was really him there.

Felix seems surprised as he stares unabashedly at the redhead, his lips moved but no words came out. He glances over at Dimitri and then back at Sylvain, he looked like he was about to blurt out something unnecessary, something that would give them away. Thankfully, he doesn't.

“What, don’t get all tongue-tied now, I know you’re happy to see all of us." He laughs and ruffled Felix's hair. "You...you ah really had us worried there for awhile.” Sylvain’s eyes gets a tad softer. “Was this payback for all those times before?” but then the expression is gone as if it was never even there as he bumps the swordsman's side playfully.

“Sorry…” Felix says looking admonished as he took in each worried faces. He looked a little paler too. Dimitri would have put a comforting hand on his shoulder but that would definitely get the other’s suspicious in no time.

“Oh. Wow. Are you sure you’re okay? You apologized way too quickly for one.” Which earns him a glare from both Felix and Ingrid while the latter elbows him sharply. This has Sylvain whining, “What? I mean, even his hair is down, Ingrid.” And it was still damp too. Dimitri was lucky that his hair was shorter.

“Do you ever stop?” She hissed before turning her attention back to Felix who by then had been scrutinizing her.

“Ingrid?” Is what he says next upon recognizing the blonde and it was her turn to give him a bone crushing hug.

“_You! _ You had us worried sick!” She scolds and Felix just blinks, Ingrid shakes her head though, moving to give Felix a light punch at the shoulder. “I can’t believe you would be so reckless!”

“That’s right!” Annette jumps in from next to her, her eyes already wet and her shoulders shaking. Her fists were clenched so tight that Dimitri wouldn’t be surprised if she suddenly started punching Felix. He subconsciously moves closer to him. Just in case.

“You’re such a hypocrite! You could have _ died _, Felix! And what would have I done then?” 

Her outburst gets the group to fall into a hush, the atmosphere immediately taking a somber turn. Suddenly, they had trouble meeting his eyes while Annette angrily tried to wipe her tears away. While it seemed like she was just lashing out at him, Dimitri could tell that she was mostly angry at herself. 

He felt like he should defend Felix’s actions but he couldn’t form the right words when he understood her sentiment all too well. And Dimitri knew that Felix abhorred such sacrifices himself. It makes him wonder what that Felix had been thinking. Had the situation really gotten that desperate? Was there truly no other way?

The question made him recall the exact words their Professor had said and his chest tightens. Had they...expected that situation to occur? For Felix to sacrifice himself like that? Was that why Felix was ordered to be nearby Annette during then? Did they know he would disobey orders despite his better judgement?

As much as he wouldn’t want any of his fellow Blue Lions getting hurt, the thought of purposefully putting one at risk for another’s sake rubbed him the wrong way. It was as if they were prioritizing someone’s life over another. Many times over had he felt guilt over why Glenn had to die while he survived. Why everyone he knew died and he lived. Why hadn’t he died instead of Glenn?

But surely the Professor didn’t think of it like that. Surely. Felix was no sacrificial pawn, perhaps the Professor simply trusted in his abilities to pull through. That could be the only reason. It _ had _ to be. Because otherwise, Dimitri wouldn’t know how he’d act when he next saw them.

Still, regardless of the matters, it wasn’t this Felix’s fault.

And as expected Felix could only stare at her, “I…” He trails off, not knowing what to say to appease her but it seems that he didn’t have to worry about it as Annette’s cutting him off again.

“After always, _ always _ telling us to be c-careful but you! _ You!! _ You’re such an _ idiot! _” She stomps her foot for good measure and manages to say all that in-between choked sobs.

At that Felix’s eyes narrow, “I’m not an idiot.”

Sylvain snickers, “_That’s _ the part that gets your attention?” He jokes, but if one knew Sylvain like he did, one could spot that he too was still affected by the events. As they all were.

Mercedes, ever the voice of reason, puts a hand on Annette’s shoulder. “Now, now, let’s try not to overwhelm him, alright Annie?” She gives a nod to Felix, “It's good to see that you’re okay now too, Felix.”

Felix doesn’t quite meet her eyes but quietly nods. Annette seems like she wants to say more but just sniffs and takes a deep breath, trying to reign her emotions in. She fails when she hiccups and Mercedes is back to rubbing soothing circles on her back. He really wishes he could tell them the truth, Mercedes probably thinks so too as she gives him a worried look.

“Ashe, what are you doing way back there?” Ingrid suddenly calls out, and as they turn to look, the said boy was behind their little circle and making no motion to approach or even say anything.

Ingrid just rolls her eyes and heads towards him, “Weren’t you the one most eager to talk to him when he wakes up? Don’t get cold feet now. _Talk to him._” She gives him an encouraging nudge.

And just like that, the archer walked over to Felix and offered him an apologetic look. “Hello, Felix. I…” He exhales and looking very much subdued. “I’m glad to see that you’re awake.”

Felix watches him for a moment, contemplating and then, “You don’t look very glad.” He points out, which gets the archer to chuckle softly.

“I’m sorry It's just that I--”

“No. _You_ guys listen." Felix shakes his head, "Quit looking at me like that, it’s not anyone’s fault but my own.” His voice left no room for argument as he gives an annoyed frown, much too similarly like the older Felix did. “What’s done is done. There’s no point over wallowing over it now.”

And it was such a typical Felix response that the mood lightens, although not everyone probably agreed with his sentiment, it felt a little bit easier to breathe when everyone wasn’t pointing blame to themselves.

Ashe bit his lip before shortly nodding his head, his shoulders easing somewhat. "I understand, Felix..." he trails off, glancing at Annette momentarily. "But you still shouldn't disobey the Professor's orders like that again. That was too much of a close call."

"I don't plan to." Felix scoffs, "The infirmary is really boring." This earns him another small smile from the archer, and a watery one from Annette who seemed to calm down some.

"I don't mean to be ungrateful, but I'm still mad at you." She says.

"Seconded." Ingrid nods.

“We should go take a seat.” Dimitri chose to suggest then, as they were all still blocking the doorway. Everyone nods their assent and returns to the table they occupied moments ago. 

Felix wordlessly plops right next to him after picking out some spicy food, which garners them a few questioning looks --mostly from Sylvain and Ingrid. He tries to ignore it.

Dedue brings him the dishes he had planned to take to his room earlier on his side of the table. “If it is not to your liking, I can go and make a new one, Your Highness.” 

Dimitri just shakes his head, while Dedue’s cooking was supposedly superb, taste was wasted on him. He could appreciate the texture though. “This is fine, thank you, Dedue.” the man gives him one of those small smiles of his before turning to look at Felix. 

Felix pauses from chewing to stare back.

Dimitri is aware that the two didn’t quite get along especially with how...aggressive Felix could be with Dedue’s loyalty and protectiveness towards him. But now he isn’t sure how these two would act towards each other. He’s not sure if Felix would even remember him. If he does though, then that just means his memories extended after the Tragedy and Dimitri isn’t sure which is worse.

It was Dedue who breaks the silence first, “It is good that you have recovered.” he states simply with a nod.

“Thanks.” Felix replies before frowning when Dedue took a seat on Dimitri’s other side but saying nothing else and resumed eating.

Dimitri still found it hard to tell from that one interaction alone, it seemed like nothing had changed between them. So did that mean Felix did remember Dedue or not? Although, the more he thought about it, Felix gave no indication whatsoever that he remembered him based on their talk earlier, so Dimitri decided to assume that it was the latter.

“So, when were you gonna tell us that Felix was awake?” Ingrid asks which makes all eyes turn on him. It doesn’t help how her tone sounded slightly accusing and he tries not to shift nervously under her stare.

“Or when he was allowed out the infirmary too?” Sylvain adds unhelpfully. “Did Professor Manuela mention any problems?”

Dimitri and Mercedes exchange a look before he clears his throat.

“Well, today, just today actually.” 

“Is that why you were absent from class today? The _ real _ reason?” Annette squints at him suspiciously, as if he was planning to conspire against them or something. But either he was a really terrible liar or his classmates were too sharp for their own good because he’s not sure what to say to that now.

He doesn’t get the chance because the attention was brought back to Felix when Ashe, who sat across from him, innocently asks, “Where have you two been then?”

Felix as if finally noticing Dimitri’s plight, looks up from his meal and without missing a beat, he answers,

“My room.” and then a devastating follow up. “and then we took a bath together.”

Time seems to slow down because just those simple words could definitely be misunderstood with how plainly he put it. And Dimitri thinks it was also his own fault for forgetting to tell Felix not to mention it to anyone even if it had been the truth. He thinks he hears Sylvain choking in the background as Ingrid drops her spoon into a bowl, and he's quite sure Ashe had gasped while the rest falls silent at the admission.

It was now very obvious that something was wrong. Very wrong. If the looks Ingrid gave him were anything to go by.

He takes a sip of his water.

It was going to be a long night...

**Author's Note:**

> Me: haha this will be a soft and funny fic  
Also me now: Ah..
> 
> Fdshfd I swear this is supposed to be a light-hearted fic  
also hi i can't believe i made an ao3 account just to post this but here i am and idk how anything works


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